The thing about Dexter was he accepted me for me. Messy me, ambitious me, scared me, unpredictable, independently dependent me. There were some tough times in our relationship but for the most part I was content. The tough times were part of the growing pains I needed to experience, for my own good.
I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe there’s a reason that the very night I told my best friend that I wanted to marry Dexter, he was with another woman. I could debate the semantics of the evening. So he was with a stripper, at a friend’s bachelor party. What’s the harm, right? Does it matter if he got a 3 minute dance in front of the guys versus a 3 hour one in a private VIP room? Does is matter if he spent $250 versus $2500? Does it matter if I found out from him versus the credit card company at 7:30AM the next morning?
It does. Dexter violated my trust. In a way that no other man had. Everything from that point on was my learning lesson. I don’t know if I’m being too hard on myself when I say I brought that drama into my life. But I believe that. It’s going to take a while before I’m able to open myself up to another relationship. Everyone comes into the world with a life obstacle and this is mine.
September 30, 2007 at 10:22 pm
“Sure it does. Because Dexter violated my trust. In a way that no other man had.”
trust lost is never regained.
ever.
sorry, babe. there is nothing quite as exquisitely painful as having your heart ripped out. it’s worse when you don’t see it coming.
I can definitely relate. shoot me a mail sometime. we’ll chat.
October 2, 2007 at 3:04 pm
It sucks to make yourself vulnerable to someone, only to have them take advantage of the position of, for lack of a better word, power you put them in.
October 4, 2007 at 7:48 am
Stripper, eh?
That’s how I can achieve emotional disconnect!
Did he sleep with the stripper? If you dumped him over a lap dance, I’m going to giggle. Giggle-laugh.
Do you check his credit card at 7:30 AM? That would be just a little bit creepy.
October 4, 2007 at 6:00 pm
nullpointer; it’s all about the context of the relationship. I’m glad that you’ve never had any sort of issues with honestly, integrity, and trust in any of your relationships. The rest of us have.
October 5, 2007 at 12:13 am
np – your evolution, as evidence of your posts and comments over the past few months, has been interesting. i’m looking forward to your revelation.
i was called at home at 7am on a sat by the credit card company to be informed that there had been questionable activity on my SO’s credit card. what unfolded over the next few weeks was a series of disclosures, by my SO and others, that he had spent 3 hrs in a VIP room alone with a stripper, ad totum $2500. what happened in that room i will never definitively know. it’s one of those areas of grey. we did not break up until a year later.
October 9, 2007 at 9:14 pm
My revelation? -.-
With respect to what?
My evolution has been to assign zero value of worth to girls. I made a mistake and I need to reset this girl’s value in my head so I don’t mess it up.
INP:
El-Oh-El. I haven’t had issues with as much impact on my life as alot of other people. My last girlfriend was a crazy, with all sorts of those issues.
January 18, 2008 at 6:10 am
[...] a year – from the moment I lost trust in Dexter to the moment I moved out – sleep had been my foe. It evaded me with the spasticity of a flying [...]
November 11, 2008 at 7:55 am
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