honeymoon period: the time at the beginning of a romantic relationship marked by Utopian-like bliss

I fear the honeymoon period, for the same reason I will never try cocaine. It’s highly addictive.

Sometimes I long for the honeymoon period of a relationship, merely because the state of “falling in love” is so deliriously amazing. Kissing feels like a million little butterflies fluttering underneath your skin. Sex is a gluttonous feast of 3am and 3pm rampages – anytime, anyplace, anyhow. Your future is bright and endless with possibilities, and your job, your friends, your family, your life all seem to fade into a barely detectable backdrop of sights and sounds. Nothing else seems to exist and everything seems to levitate to new highs. Driving in the car, going to the grocery store, sitting on the couch watching TV on a Friday night all seem to be new sources of pleasure in the company of your fellow honeymooner.

Forget cocaine. Pass up the alcohol. Eschew gambling. Fall in love!

And then find yourself a good Honeymooners-anonymous support group. Why? Because with the honeymoon period comes a state of blindness (akin to a skark’s feeding frenzy, during which sharks either roll their eyes back into their head or a nictitating membrane closes over their eyes like an upside-down eyelid). During the honeymoon period, DO NOT:

  • move in together
  • make any large purchases together
  • go to Vegas and get married
  • get any tattoos with the other person’s name or picture

Wait the requisite 6 months for the honeymoon period to wear off, and if your love’s “quirky little traits” are still as endearing and little as ever, you can safely assume you’re operating with some sense of rationality.