The thing about Dexter was he accepted me for me. Messy me, ambitious me, scared me, unpredictable, independently dependent me. There were some tough times in our relationship but for the most part I was content. The tough times were part of the growing pains I needed to experience, for my own good.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe there’s a reason that the very night I told my best friend that I wanted to marry Dexter, he was with another woman. I could debate the semantics of the evening. So he was with a stripper, at a friend’s bachelor party. What’s the harm, right? Does it matter if he got a 3 minute dance in front of the guys versus a 3 hour one in a private VIP room? Does is matter if he spent $250 versus $2500? Does it matter if I found out from him versus the credit card company at 7:30AM the next morning?

It does. Dexter violated my trust. In a way that no other man had. Everything from that point on was my learning lesson. I don’t know if I’m being too hard on myself when I say I brought that drama into my life. But I believe that. It’s going to take a while before I’m able to open myself up to another relationship. Everyone comes into the world with a life obstacle and this is mine.