1. To take in as food; eat or drink up
  2. To purchase (goods or services) for direct use or ownership
  3. To destroy totally; ravage
  4. To absorb; engross

This is what I want: I want a man to consume me.  For breakfast.  I want to wake up and instead of a morning poke from behind, I want to look across the pillow and see a man  who makes me smile.  I say “hi.”   And then he kisses me, just a peck on the lips and says “hi” back.  That’s how it will start.

Then the peck on the lips will move to a peck on the cheek, and the nose, and the forehead.  Followed by the ears,  and then the neck…I want every inch of my body kissed.  Under a big fluffy, white, soft as butter comforter.

What will this achieve?  Any man who does this will discover my trigger points, those specific spots on my body so sensitive that I am immediately disarmed.  This is will become part of his artillery.  And instead of having a quick morning fuck and me throwing off the comforter and feeling the urge to get on with my Saturday agenda, the entire morning will be spent having sex – and the morning will slip into the afternoon.

The problem with this scenario is that it can’t be done with just anyone.  There needs to be trust.  After all, I am offering myself as an entire meal.

If I’m not going to jump out of bed in the morning, I’m committing to staying in bed, with the man that lies there.   I can’t do this with a fuck buddy or a one-night stand or a friend with benefits.  That kind of sex seems bland and tasteless compared to what I’ve had and what I want.  So how do I achieve this?  I have to stop putting up the roadblocks and the walls and every defense mechanism I’ve used in the past and be open for consumption.  And yet every definition of the word consumption makes me recoil.  I am not willing to give up myself.