path:
1. A trodden track or way
2. A road, way, or track made for a particular purpose
3. The route or course along which something travels or moves
4. A course of action or conduct

Now while I posed the idea of moving out, it took me several weeks to find a place and do so. And during those weeks, Dexter and I tried to continue having a relationship. We slept in the same bed, we made love. We had dinner and went for runs together. We even started looking at bigger houses, as if our current residence was that which was constricting me.

And one morning, I arose with this overwhelming sense of panic. Pop-not-one-but-two valiums anxiety. The routine and expectation of my life with Dexter was all but strangling me.

I could hear my mother’s voice: You can’t be a little girl forever. I asked myself if she was right: Do I refuse to grow up?

But who doesn’t want to live their life free from constraints and open to a world of possibilities? Rationality told me Dexter was a wonderful man and yet I felt no certainty. Rationality was failing me.

I kept thinking: Dexter feels like home. How do you decide to leave home? I felt lost. I told one of my best friends that it was at this moment in my life that I wished I had religion to draw upon, because the question I was grappling with was not whether or not I should stay with Dexter or whether or not I believed in marriage. It was much more ubiquitous than that.

And that’s when I found the way. Literally The Way.

Using the Wisdom of Kabbalah for Spiritual Transformation and Fulfillment
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