repent (verb):
  1. To feel remorse, contrition, or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do
  2. To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one’s mind regarding it
  3. To make a change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one’s sins

First rule of repentance: Have true remorse

Have an understanding that we have done something wrong and we regret having done it

Second rule: Have certainty

Out of true remorse, we gain power to search our hearts until we can say with absolute certainty we will not choose to repeat the act

Third rule: Face the opportunity for negativity again

And make a different choice

Dear Scorpio:

    You don’t respect me. If you did, we wouldn’t be here. You are my superior. You are in a position to advance or derail my career. Right now, you’re derailing it. You knew what you were doing from the very moment you propositioned me to join the team. If you respected me, you would support me in my position, but now I realize that when you propositioned me, you weren’t thinking about me in terms of my professional capabilities. I’m not sure what you want from me. But I know that every move you’ve made is to advance your agenda. The funny thing is, I thought I respected you. But I don’t. Because I don’t respect myself right now. A year ago, I made a list of things I wanted in partner and what I wanted in my life. Here are the lists:

I need my partner to:

  • listen
  • respect me
  • be compassionate and passionate
  • have an open mind
  • stimulate my intellectual curiosity and challenge me
  • find humor in life
  • be assertive
  • live his life with integrity

I need to:

  • Live my life with integrity
  • Pursue calm and avoid chaos
  • Refrain from getting anxious and reacting to things that are out of my control
  • Keep perspective on the things I can influence
  • Act with others’ interest in mind
  • Seek to help and positively influence others
  • Avoid criticism and judgment
  • Be diligent
  • Avoid laziness and putting things off/inaction
  • Keep stock of priorities
  • Refrain from seeing boundaries and limitations
  • Quiet the ego
  • Act with love and compassion
  • Question with good intent
  • Seek the truth

Right now, I’m failing miserably. The truth is, you are married and integrity is about being honest and there’s nothing honest about any of this. I’m attracted to you and sometimes it consumes me like a massive flame. But that’s just me reacting to and feeding a physical impulse. And when I come home at night, I don’t feel good about any of this. In fact, I get angry with myself. I deserve better. Don’t I deserve better? Obviously, I don’t. If I did, I wouldn’t be in this position.

So in order to get the relationship I want, I have to be everything I seek in a partner. And you are my test to see if I’ve actually changed. I am better than this.